Tuesday, August 4, 2009


I received this reader email a while back and just wanted to share the question and response with you. It was a really hard question to answer and I'd love to challenge you to answer it yourself. If you're feeling brave, I'd love even more to hear your answer in the comments section or an email. Now, on with it...

Hi Kyla

I saw your blog through a link on the what I wore blog. I myself have recently lost some weight and I think your blog is great and very stylish.

I would love to do my own blog, but haven't the confidence as I was previously curvier than I am now (I'm still a little curvy) and lost a lot of self esteem.

Where does your confidence come from? I am almost too shy to post my own photos!


Wow! Now this one really made me think. So much so that it took me a few days to put my response in writing, but I finally got there and here it is...

Hi, HS,
Thanks for checking out my blog. I hope you come back again and again :)

This is such a great question. I'm sorry for not responding sooner. I've honestly been letting it roll around in my head and coming up with an answer myself!

I think I've finally got it. I've always leaned towards being a rather confident person throughout my life, though that hasn't always applied to my outward appearance. The latter is something that I'm still building, though it seems to come much easier with age.

One of the biggest benefits of losing weight has certainly been the wider clothing options. I LOVE clothes and always have. Now, I'm able to wear a lot of styles that were previously not very flattering. I often times think that I would not have had the confidence to start this blog before getting my body back. And I must admit that when I did start this blog, I would do some funny editing to my photos to try to appear slimmer. Thankfully, it didn't take long for me to stop doing that and start loving what I already have. I think now, the more I see pictures of myself, the more I like what I see and the more confident I feel about myself.

The other huge contributor to my confidence is what I do to care for myself. I am very active and eat healthy. Knowing how much thought and effort I put into caring for my body naturally makes me feel proud of it. My body is something to be treasured and properly maintained. Once I stopped taking advantage of my health and abilities, I started to see myself much differently - more special, much stronger and beautifully unique.

The bottom line is that everyone is built differently and brings something different to the table and it's a beautiful thing. I truly believe that no one can make you feel confident about yourself better than you. It has to start on the inside and everything else will follow.

I hope this is an acceptable answer and helps you gain the confidence to start your own blog. Be sure to send me the link when you do. I'll be sure to be your first follower :)

Take care, HS, and thanks for the great question!



  1. Great response, I think. I myself hesitated to create a blog about fashion because of my own age, stage of life and body type. While I have lost weight after having three children, my body is not what it was before, and really wont ever be again. I could lose more weight, but lets just say it's an issue of gravity, being thinner wouldn't make much difference. But, I'm letting that go. I'm having to much fun with the clothes to stop and wonder if I qualify to photograph myself.
    I'm healthy, I'm training for a marathon, I have three great kids and I have a lot of fun in life. That's all that matters.

    I'm so glad I found your blog!

  2. Great response matches great question! I for one find it very hard to expose myself in this blog world but do so in order to combat negative feelings I have about myself -- whether subconciously/unconciously known.
    Kudos to you too for inspiring so many! Stay Blessed~

  3. Great question, and great response. For me, I think my confidence has slowly built up, as I've become more aware of what styles I like and what looks best on me. I used to be really insecure, but by learning to love my body and dress it in ways that work best for it, I've become much more comfortable with putting photos of myself on my blog.

  4. Some great thoughts. I have found that I mak emuch more of an effort now I have set up a blog. And as you can see form my old blog (www.workthatwardrobe.blogspot.com) I have not been afraid to make mistakes.
    And I'm also on the petite and curvy side. Certainly nowhere near model material!

  5. I'm so glad you published this question and your response. While I've never fluctuated much in weight or physical appearance in general, I have definitely had my fair share of self-doubt, physically. It has taken me years and years and years to look in the mirror and like what I see. I was honestly terrified to start my blog in the fear that no one would read it, or worse, that they would dislike my style or agree with my negative self-image. I was terrified that it would only solidify my worst fears about myself. I don't honestly know what spurred me on to finally do it, but I'm oh-so-glad that I did. Because what has happened is that my worst fears have been all-but-banished by this incredible online community. I never thought of myself as someone who would have "virtual" friends, but that is just what I have found through this experiment, friends who have only reminded me of my best attributes and strengthened my self-image tenfold. This is definitely an issue worth pondering, and I'm so glad you did.

  6. Ugh, I am still very awkward infront of the camera. I don't know what to do with myself and I don't want to come off too "posy" like some bloggers, no names named.
    I think the best thing to do is...just do it. You will get used to it and eventually work it like you own it.
    That's my advise. Its not easy but it will get better.
    50 pounds ago I avoided all cameras (video and still alike) like the plaque.

  7. i think your reader just needs to explore the PLETHORA of fashion blogs from other curvy chicks and see that regardless your shape or size, it's your style that matters, and enjoying putting looks together that make you feel hot!!! i, too, will follow happily :)

  8. Awww. That was a great answer. I love seeing other curvy girls online - I hope the person who asked the questions starts her blog.

  9. That was a great and very elaborated answer you gave her, i hope she does start a blog!

    I myself was always hesitant to either show my face in pictures online, or my body. I had always had weight problems in my teens, and i was at the best shape of my life after having my second baby, i was just LOVING it. I didn't even look that good when i was 17. After that i got pregnant one more time, i now have three kids, and it has cost me soo much to get back in shape, struggling with weight and insecurities of my own, because, we live in a society where skinny is in, where long legs are beautiful, and where if you don't look like that you're nothing but an average person, you're nothing special. That has always caused insecurities in me, thinking, that if i don't look a certain way people will just criticize me for the way i look. I have never liked my legs, for some odd reason they have always been really big, and at some point i even considered them to look 'masculine' because they weren't long, skinny, and shaped the way 'women's legs' are supposed to look in my head. Despite all that though, i have always liked muscle, and i love people who even though are not the skinniest person i the world care about themselves enough to want to feel and look good and excersice. Strong bodies are attractive, and, i was born to build big muscles, because even when i didn't work out i still had big muscles, so i have come to slowly accept myself the way that i am, the way that i look, i only have myself in the end right? and i am a healthy person, i am not blind, missing limbs, nor i am sick with some kind of deathly disease, so i should be grateful.

    What i like about you and many other people is that confidence that you can see in every single thing that they do, they don't smile uncomfortably, and pose naturally for the camera, they don't try hard at all, and i think that is what you reflect as well, which, i confess, gives me confidence as well, and inspires me to be more in love with myself and accept myself the way i just am, that is why i am SO glad, that i found your blog! :)